To Blog Or Not To Blog

Why I really decided to start a Blog.

I have 4 real reasons why I started this blog listed below and one fakish reason I usually tell when asked.

The disingenuous one is that it keeps me motivated/honest with myself on my quest for FIRE. I have seen that reason floating around the blogosphere plenty and it sounded mostly true for me as well, so that is the one I usually volunteer.

Here are what I suspect are the Four more personal REAL DEAL HOLYFIELD reasons I started a Blog.

 First, to feel alive. I am somewhat insecure about my accomplishments to date. Don’t get me wrong, I have achieved much and am proud of how far I have come. Especially in light of WHERE I came from. But, I also am quite the narcissist, bordering on delusional in what I fantasized I would achieve by now. Compared to that guy, I am “but a Slug in The Sun, an Ant in the Afterbirth, privy to a great becoming yet I recognize Nothing.” –Francis Dolarhyde

Even as a young man I never felt whole unless I was writing or creating; stories, websites, poetry, zines, etc.

I think all of this was part of my strong pull to leave some sort of legacy behind me when I am gone. To push back against the notion that when we die there is nothing else. To be remembered.

Secondly, I have borderline OCD. I am truly hoping that OthalaFehu is not just a phase, but in retrospect, I do tend to over commit to some Task de Jure and abandon it somewhere down the road. Not that I leave it unfinished, I tie up the loose ends, that is not what I mean. It’s just I tend to step back from the thing, congratulate myself on a job well done, and then close the book on that particular chapter.

I think it stems from an insecurity that this will all go south. All the sudden, I pause, realize things have been going well for awhile and would prefer to end it before the other shoe has a chance to drop.

 Third, I have survived many personal dark spots by clinging to the belief that I am somehow special. The last refuge of the invisible. My confidence and arrogance are hard earned and well deserved if I don’t say so myself. At the heart of this rant is the fear all of us disciples of  the young Narcissus are terrified of….We are not that special.

Please keep those comments coming 🙂

 Lastly, humans are a social animal. I want to share my thoughts, hopes, and dreams. Plenty of people in my life don’t care about the things I care about and that is lonely. I like our sense of community about our common interests. If anything I would share more, but politics and religion don’t mix well with personal finance. Besides you might be freaked out by my politics and my religion 🙂

Thanks for the Outlet, and letting me wax philosophical about my Blogging Motivation . I think I am trying to stave off that blogger burnout I have reading so much about of late.

 

 

 

 

 

 

13 thoughts on “To Blog Or Not To Blog

  1. A crotchety virologist in med school once went on a 10 minute rant about how kids these days are soft because instead of competing they are only taught to sing, “Nobody else has feet like mine, feet like mine, feet like mine, nobody else has feet like mine, I’m so special.” There will always be the lingering fear that he was talking about me.

    Here’s what I read in your confession: You do difficult things. You do them meticulously to your own high standards. You do them with the hope (but, critically, not the expectation) that others may relate. In an absurd world where it’s easier to pursue bread and circus, you choose to do it anyway. It’s a powerful thing to create your own meaning that way.

    So sure, the insecurity/arrogance and longing for legacy may be frail human desires left unfulfilled in the end. But honing a craft (cogent thought, writing, irreverence) and holding up a mirror to your work have value, even if it’s assigned by you alone.

    Keep passing the open windows…

  2. I’m similar in that I tend to start things, get really into them then burn out(see my writing self hustle posts).

    I think I’m taking a slower approach with my blog as it’s something I want to keep going for the long term for some of the same reasons you list. The main one is accountability and keeping myself on this path while talking to others on the same journey. It’s hard to find people into this sort of thing in your day to day life so it’s much easier to do it online via relationships with bloggers and reading other blogs like ours.

  3. Why is the last of the 4 a fake-y reason?! It’s the most honest and relatable. 🙂 I definitely feel the lonely. Personal finance should be more popular and less taboo. Thank you for the ping back 😇

  4. I have debated my own blogging recently. A year in and a life overwhelmed with tasks since my home burned down. My writer’s block is larger than before and is my energy…. Keep on keeping on . We like what you write so keep at it.

  5. The distinction you make between the reasons people give and the actual reasons behind your deciding to blog are mighty interesting. Personally, I agree with making me feel alive. Being in a corporate job, it is easy to get into a predictable rut but blogging is giving me an outlet for things that matter and connecting with people who are on the same mission.
    More importantly, I have always had an interest in writing. Like with any muscle, they say the more you write the better you get at it. I see my blog as a reason to discpline me into the habit of writing more regularly.

  6. It seems this is that time of year when bloggers starts to feel burnout and question everything (even Schrödinger’s cats well-being). Despite just started I am not an exception, so can totally relate to your reasoning.

    Was never tested for psychical disorders, but maybe should have been. Can totally relate to OCD (which coder can’t btw?), however not sure about borderline… maybe a little bit of Asperger, who knows 😀

    PS: I would be happy to hear more of your political and religious thoughts too 🙂

  7. I blog mostly for personal and professional development. Basically I want practice with writing, web development, and a little marketing, too. I also like your idea of leaving behind a legacy. I might suggest submitting you blog pages to the wayback machine?

  8. Wow, I’m reading a lot about blogger burnout recently. I just posted about that not too long ago and just came break from a 3 month hiatus. I’ve been blogging for 4 years but inconsistently at times. I’m not sure I have anything else to say sometimes. Although I do look back fondly at some of the archives so it’s cool to have it there. You’re definitely right about being social creatures…I don’t think I could continue if I didn’t get any feedback. I’d be wondering whether anyone was actually reading.

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