A Slice of Every Pie

A basket of different Asset Classes. Never too many eggs in any one basket. All wise words, which I have taken to heart.

Lets go through my various stashes as if they were pieces of a pie. Because I am thorough and love pie.

Bonds – the Banana Cream Pie of the asset world. Truth be told, I buy these because I am ‘supposed’ to have some bonds in the portfolio. They were fun to buy back in the days of actual paper bonds, but nowadays I find the TreasuryDirect website to be cumbersome and unfriendly to the casual user. Low rates and my young age (relatively) make bonds a ‘meh’ asset. I just do it through an automatic deduction from my paychecks, cruise control.

Precious Metals – just like Pecan Pie, it will outlast all those other fly by night pies. A personal favorite of mine, largely due to nagging insecurities about the security of this world. I slowly built my stash up, but with current prices, I can afford to wait for the next big dip. I hold my hoard and take comfort that it acts in indirect correlation to what is happening with the dollar (usually).


Here comes the biggest pieces of the Asset Pie 🙂


Stocks – Assets for the people with the money to gamble. Decadent just like a slice of Chocolate Creme Pie. This is the main thrust of my money empire. It took me awhile to learn my lessons, but nowadays, this is the asset I feel most comfortable throwing money at. I concentrated on plowing cash into my brokerage account this year. With one month to go I hit $44,000 in new money invested.

Retirement Accounts – As American as Apple Pie. these are boring. They are on autopilot. I let the computer tell me when to re-balance. But they are the backbone of my retirement plan. Slow and Steady wins the race.  Life-cycle funds are set to an age younger than my real age to trick  them into being a smidgen more aggressive. Set them up to withdraw from your paycheck, add in any raises, and forget about them.

Cash – Cash is Cherry. One criticism of my current allocations is always that I might be holding too much in cash. Nope, I like to have that pile in case an opportunity knocks. If interest rates were higher, I might even keep more cash. Plus, I call part of the cash pile my ‘Emergency Fund‘ because everybody should have one.


Let loose the belt on your metaphysical pants, we only only through half of this Asset Pie.


Vacation Rentals – Time for a more exotic asset? Why not try some Coconut Cream Pie? We always knew we wanted the family cottage to stay in the family and eventually to retire there. We solved that dilemma. But what to do with the cottage the other 50 weeks a year until we are done working? Enter VRBO and a very beneficial set up for covering the bills ‘up north’.

Rental Properties – I swear folks I am close on this one. Circling the world of investment properties since 2012, never pulling the trigger. I think I am a few weeks out from purchase Number #1. Stay tuned for more info as it becomes available. If this is actually acquired, I will be fulfilling a lifelong dream. No pie for this one until it becomes a reality. but then it will be Peach Pie.

Small Business – Not a very common asset. It is not an everyday pie, it shows up on special occasions, hence the Pumpkin Pie. I already have a job I like, and I did not want to start a  business for myself and I did not want to buy myself a job.  I wanted the ‘as passive as possible’ interest in a business. My ongoing relationship with a business partner has bore some fruit. Small, sometimes bitter fruit, see The Floundering Business Deal. I also came close to buying a Laundromat, but that came too close to ‘buying myself a job’ in the end.

Little ones, but not to be left out;

Health Saving Account –  Blueberry Pie of course, if for no other reason than you are reading this far to see how I could possibly relate an HSA to blueberries. This asset is small for now, but I will keep adding to it every year while working. Someday it will be a mighty war chest from which I will pay medical expenses until Medicare kicks in. Those gap years is the killer to many a FIRE plan.

College Savings Vehicles – This one is a Lemon Meringue Pie. I like it but there is some tartness involved. As there will be seeing these funds spent when my kids use them up. Yes, I do feel an obligation to help my kids with their schooling. We have some prepaid tuition plans and some traditional 529 plans if you are interested in digging down further.

Cryptocurrency – This one is still an ugly pie to me. I do not fully embrace it yet, maybe someday soon if it keeps showing up.

I do not do Peer to Peer Lending. Any other types of assets that you think should be included in our asset pie?

Apologies, It is the Eve before Thanksgiving and I may have made this post simply to pregame my pie consumption this Holiday season. Odd how things move inside the mind.

Happy Turkey Day!

Let's get things nice and sparkling clear